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The Phone Lines Are Open




As I read the lives of the saints, I am shocked by the amount of saints who are deemed "just stories." St. Scholastica is the twin sister of St. Benedict. She was instrumental in leading holy women in an austere life, devoted to following the Rule written by her brother. We have Benedictine nuns today because of her. I read a biography that ended with: "She was invented because it was fashionable to give siblings, especially twin sisters to holy men." I guess it was supposed to soften their disposition.


You heard it here, folks. Her phone lines are open. Call now. She is waiting to pray for you.


St. Julian the Hospitaller is another of these saints. After living a life without God, tragedy struck. He spent the rest of his life performing penitential acts and aiding the poor, the sick and travelers. All in all he was a very good example of how the world is filled with temptations, and the Lord is always ready to lead us back to the straight and narrow. But, alas, his story was deemed untrue. That is what happens when a popular story gets confused with actual history.


You heard it here, folks. His phone lines are open. Call now. He is waiting to pray for you.


St. Genesius, patron of actors and live performers, was never officially baptized. He wanted to impress the Roman Emperor Diocletian. He found a community of Christians and convinced them he wanted to join them. Just before his baptism, he disappeared from their community and wrote a parody of Christian initiation to be performed for the Emperor. At the climax of the play, Genesius received the gift of faith and began calling the crowd to conversion. Sadly, his story could not be verified after 1720 years, even though miracles have been attributed to his intercession as recently as 2013.


You heard it here, folks. His phone lines are open. He is waiting to pray for you.


The list goes on. There are so many saints throughout the centuries who are largely forgotten, that it leads me to wonder how long it take before someone decides I never existed either. But, there is a bright side. The more people are dissuaded by well-intentioned historians from petitioning their prayers, the more time they have to answer mine.  


Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone cheerful? He should sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? He should send for the presbyters of the Church so that they may pray over him and anoint him with oil in the Name of the Lord. The prayer of faith will save the sick person, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed any sins, he will be forgiven. James 5: 13-15


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